hypnus:

maybe if i sigh deep enough i’ll die

(via iamniggapie)

lizuhd:

how come phineas is always like “i know what we’re going to do today” maybe ferb had an idea you ass

(Source: leafwhirlwind, via scabbylasagna)

Who invented the blow job?

Like, who wakes up one day and thinks “today, I will suck a dick

(Source: shadzu, via sleepingwithalyssaa)